The Black Bag Man

I saw him cutting the breeze with the hotdog vendor on the lid of the Western Transportation Center. Whether he got a dog or not was something I couldn’t say.  Somehow he made his way to the Red Line and boarded my car. He was loaded down with two shopping bags – one advertising Starbucks – and the second…not sure about that one. He slid onto the train as if he had a reservation and quickly sidled into ‘the vagrant’s corner’. He slowly fidgeted with his transit pass – apparently on some sort of medicinal high – or loaded on sterno. As soon as the train slipped out of the station, our boy started to announce the station stops – with that great old Angeleno slur prevalent in this part of town.  So all this is not the point, reader – simply prelude to the point. 

Keeping up his pace of station announcing – head down, slur on – he eventually had to exit at 7th and Metro – the vagrants’ borderline. He kept announcing the stop, then started rhyming “7th and Metro, we’re ready to go…” As he was bopping off the Red Line, in comes two terrible examples of white suburbiana in action: Danny Dufus, Computer Support wonder boy, and Nancy Noogie , receptionist to someone’s purchasing department. These two bound by the Black Bag Man as if in another dimension. Does he see them? Do they see him?   7th and Metro is the crossroads for LA humanity. Are you a Vagrant? Cleaning Woman? Construction Worker?  Go no further! Are you an Information Technology geek?  Internal Auditor? Corporate Lawyer? You may pass…  Have a Nice Day. Those that never had a real vacation in their lives are exchanged for those that wrangle for airfare deals as a hobby. Those that own one dirty and worn ball cap are swapped for those that match up their golf visors with their polo shirts.  

Danny Dufus and Nancy Noogie couldn’t care a rat’s butt about the Black Bag Man, the Black Bag Woman, and all the hungry and forlorn Black Bag Kids. As our train heads closer to Union Station, and our Black Bag Man heads deeper and deeper into the bowels of Vagrant L. A., Danny chuffs to Nancy that he’s planning to pack a bag for a weekend of boating and beer drinking Lake Havasu style.  Nancy gushes at everything DuhDuhDanny says. Although she doesn’t confide this, our Miss Noogie will spend the weekend shopping for crafts at Michaels, watering her ferns, and walking her Beagle Bonbon around the cul-de-sac.

That’s the point.